A Journey Of Sorts

what’s playing::反方向的鐘 – 周杰伦::
moodflash:: pensive

As I live each day to another, thoughts flit through my mind as flit out just as quickly. And I feel like a butterfly catcher, waving the net in all directions hoping to capture the elusive thought, only to discover that the net had a hole and the thought flew away just the same. It’s such a shame really, as sometimes it’s worth a while putting one’s mind to random and somewhat meaningful thought, catching a moment to oneself in one’s world.

After a long-needed chit-chat session with the girls today, I realised how good it feels to just indulge in mental stimulation and simply enjoy the company. With a new delayed introduction to Kettle Chips, a cup of rose tea with its gentle fragrance perfuming the air, and refreshing mocha freeze, the scene is set for a delightful afternoon. Predictably, no studying was done, but the salve on the soul was well worth a digression.

Have learnt that it is even more crucial than ever to develop a skill for moderateness in bahavior. Not that I should take a 180 degree turn, rather, I should turn away from the comfort route of extreme but distinct attitude to the unfamiliar route of superficial moderate, diplomatic yet muddy attitude. In trying to mould a public persona who is easy-going and “connectable”, the divide between what I am and what I have to portray is continuing much much further down the forked road. To the point where they cannot be reconciled. But I suppose there is need for such diplomacy and pretense. It’s such and ugly word really – pretense. But I can think of no other. Maybe one day I will get so used to the stranger persona the world sees, that the inner self will shrivel up, pack its bags, and leave me forever. I fear that.

Looks like the path to learning and reshaping oneself is tedious, long and ardous. And with each step in that “better” direction, I question whether I’m partaking in an act of self betrayal by turning on the person I see in the mirror. Or perhaps I’m making her stronger. I just hope she doesn’t get lost along the way, for there’s a heck of a way to go.

Yet, along my journey of learning, I never felt so much support before. And for that, I’m truly thankful. ♥

[love does fulfill]

Buckets Of Perspiration

what’s playing:: Like Lovers Do – Heather Nova
moodflash:: warm

It’s really too hot nowadays. I wager the Sun is making it his personal agenda to fry as many earthlings as possible. Well done, he’s succeeding cuz I’m perspiring buckets. Me. Me who hardly perspires.

After a weekend of retail satisfaction, largely in the form of a Levi’s jeans, I’m filled with contentement and a feeling that all’s right with the world.

It’s quite sad when one realised that the textbook is a better teacher than the teacher herself. And so, despite the resolution to avoid skipping lectures, in a bid to be a decent student, it looks like my attendance at econs lectures will be down to a minimal.

The devil in the form of Laine has tempted me to go shopping! But I have (very sadly and relectantly) resisted due to the pile of notes in front of me, staring with an accusing eye. And now I’m in the room with the said notes for company. Well, at least I have companionship, albiet in inanimate forms.

I should stop talking about school. It is depressing. ♥

[inanimate objects are actually animated]

Internet Woes

what’s playing::Rhapsody In Blue – George Gershwin::
moodflash:: tired

The original intention was to hit some dusty economics notes but that intention has flown out of the window along with the better part of my irritation.

The laptop is once again acting up, throwing a hissy fit, and refusing to allow me a decent connection to the internet. Even with a LAN cable snugly fit in, the message under “Network” still insists that no cable was plugged in. As I stared then glared at the message, I soon turned to glaring/staring at both computer and port with an accusing eye. Neither yielded under such eye power, but after a miraculous while and many many curses under my breath, a connection has been established. Oh joy. It is a wretched feeling to not have connection. It’s as if the last lifeline linking you to the reat of the world has been mercilessly chopped off. Especially when you’re staying in hall. Even if one doesn’t talk to anyone online, at the very least one can talk to a cyber-self. I suppose that’s better that talking to a mirror. At the very least, it’s less disturbing for others. Ah, I am the voice of consideration.

Am absolutely fascinated by “Rhapsody In Blue” which serves as the soundtrackk to a particular excerp from Fantasia 2000. The urbanised one which starts off with lines running like maze across the screen, building up a city. I quite like this piece best out of the rest. Except perhaps for the flamingo with a yo-yo excerp which is equally catchy and amusing. Some shots from Rhapsody.

Somehow, it strikes a chord with me. ♥

[sleep claims sleep]

Just A Little Bit

what’s playing::Good Day – Click Five::
moodflash:: contented

The Friday saw my laptop in hall over the weekend, leaving adium on mug mode with an auto-reply of “mugging lah…. The Monday saw me returning to adium screens of people expressing wonder at that in different ways. It was quite amusing really.

Had tons of thoughts random and otherwise flitting through my mind but they seem to have disappeared. Or have gone a-sleeping (which is probably what I should be doing now.)

My dreams have been quite fantastic lately, with swashbuckling adventures and fantastical dragons of lore of different hues. Probably my mind working overtime after my recent indulgence into “Eldest” by Christopher Paolini. It’s the second installment of the “Inheritance” trilogy. At the moment I’m craving a re-read of the first book “Eragon”.

Alright. I dig books the way jocks dig sports.
That’s not such a bad thing right?

As a sidenote, the moon is pretty again today. She is once again hanging low in the sky in perfect view. No longer a full round but a near-half. But she is in no way diminished. And she is glowing a mild orange tonight.

I wish I have a camera. ♥

[book worm am I]

Clamp them!

what’s playing:: Linger – Cranberries::
moodflash:: amused

Taken from http://parkingidiots.blogspot.com/

Seriously, you wouldn’t believe how boliao free people are. There’s even one fella who climbed up what I assume to be a multi-storey carpark just to take an aerial shot of an errant lorry driver who mis-parked his lorry. I suppose these “idiot drivers” really do piss drivers off. Most comments following the vivid pictures advised clamping of the vehicles or revoking of licenses.

Ah, hell hath no fury like drivers dissed by parking idiots. ♥

[One certainly hopes one does not end up on the site when one learns how to drive]

Peace

what’s playing:: Tenshi No Yubikiri – Fukada Mai::
moodflash:: blissful

The room is getting quite dusty and I should think a MagiClean broom brush mop thingie is long overdue to the rescue. Either that or I start wearing fluffy bunny rabbit bedroom slippers and breath through an oxygen tank.

Runny nose and watery eyes aside, I’m sitting at my desk and when I look out of the window, the moon hangs low in the sky. Glowing a seductive pearl white, it seems to beckon at mere mortals who can never reach it. For some reason, the moon is a sign of absolute nature’s beauty to me. And to my mind, it is a distinctly female entity. Cool and cyclical, her inconstant nature betrayed by physical waxing and waning. She sometimes glows a warm cream yellow and at other times shines bright white. Sometimes she takes a dip in the sky, closer to us, other times she’s a small speck, unattainably high above. Wherever you go, the world is her playground once night falls as she plays a whimsical game of hide and seek, vanishing from your right and reappearing at your left as you move inexonarably on with life. She provides a cool respite from the masculine sun who would never let you gaze at his face. (Perhaps from fear that one sees something other than blazing machoism in him as he fries earth day after day.) The moon is a perfect female. Constantly supporting the sun and following after him. And with the couple steadily taking their rightful places after each other, one wonders at their perfect union. Alas, they never meet except for the brief moments of dawn and dusk where the sky is set alight with the minglings of the two. Like a girlish blush in the face of such a union, the sky turns a rosy pink. ♥
[all's alright with life]

A New Home

what’s spinning:: This Never Happened Before – Paul Mc Cartney::
moodflash:: cold

I’ve decided to move my cyber ass to this new home courtesy of WordPress. Its somewhat easier to use, and I think I’m gonna be spending quite a bit of time to manoeuvre this confusing webworld.
I’ve class at 0830 later and it’s time I finally get some sleep. ♥

[Nitey world]