Ah Dammit.

what’s playing::I Can’t Stop Loving You – Ray Charles::
moodflash:: angry::

I can’t fucking believe it! I finally get my hands on an anime series I wanted to watch for such a bloody long time – since secondary school, and my mum decides to pluck the wires out from the fucking vcd/dvd player, disconnecting it from the fucking TV.

What the hell?!

And it doesn’t help that I have not been able to find this damn series anywhere, even in dvd form.
[pissed off]

A piece of long ago.

what’s playing::I Can’t Stop Loving You – Ray Charles::
moodflash:: cheerful::

I watched an anime Metropolis when I was in JC. I forgot why, I think it was either a post-promo event or something along that line. The scene which stuck with me still now is that of Ray Charles singing I Can’t Stop Loving You as Tima tore the city down on her, as the city went up in flames, and she along with it, as Tima fell and Kenichi watched her fall away, seemingly to be destroyed along with the Ziggurat. The use of this particular song achieved much more than any special sound effect could. It built up a lump in my throat then, as it will now if I were to watch the show now.

I believe that when I die, I would like this song to be played at the funeral. I can just picture it, the song being played as my body goes up in flames. On the other hand, I also dig the funeral style in Love Actually where the Bay City Rollers dish out Bye Bye Baby as the casket was carried out.

So here’s the lyrics. If not for the fact that the lyrics are rather depressing, I would also like this song to be played at weddings.

I can’t stop loving you
I’ve made up my mind
To live in memory of the lonesome times
I can’t stop wanting you
It’s useless to say
So I’ll just live my life in dreams of yesterday
Dreams of yesterday
Those happy hours that we once knew
Tho’ long ago, they still make me blue
They say that time heals a broken heart
But time has stood still since we’ve been apart

I can’t stop loving you
I’ve made up my mind
To live in memories of the lonesome times
I can’t stop wanting you
It’s useless to say
So I’ll just live my life in dreams of yesterday

The boy had a bad day today, and it sucks that I cannot help. Perk up baby. I’m praying everything will turn out just fine tomorrow. *hugs*
♥
[edventure SUCKS!]

Odds & Ends.

what’s playing::鳥の詩 – Lia::
moodflash:: upbeat::

I think i will once more sink into an anime-mode. Problem is, I absolutely hate having to wait week by week for new episodes. I would rather watch everything at one full shot. It is exhilarating to go on an anime spree. I suppose it’s the same for any TV show. Instant gratification. That’s the way things are, and should be.

One reason why I love getting soundtracks to anime I like/watch is because I love the pictures that fill my head when the music plays. And I can re-capture the emotions which fill me when I’m watching that particular anime. Listening to songs from Nodame Cantabile makes me happy, upbeat, as I recall the spasticity of Nodame. Listening to songs from Air makes me feel bittersweet, a little sad. It’s the same when I listen to songs from Kanon. And listening to the theme from Clannad makes me think of chang because we watched so many episodes together, and the darn dango & rabbit is just too cute. As a digression, I have a feeling the reason why I’m putting off watching Clannad is because I’m afraid I will bawl my eyes out as the characters die/fade away etc. Stop being a wuss!

The office has a mascot now, and it is male. Unfortunately, the Female has no face, so Male it is.

Introducing, SOCKMAN!

I assure you, there is a reason why it’s nose is red. But that’s a story for another time.

Because there were unfamiliar faces around the table, and we really shouldn’t refer to people by their shirt colours (because people tend to be (i) colourblind, (ii) wear the same colour shirt), a visual map was in order.

And just because this is the most spontaneously cute thing I’ve seen in a while:


Presenting, Sing-toast & Pavaroti, in full suited singing glory.

I love kookiness. I’m getting an overdose of it where I least expected.
♥
[random!]

Discontent.

what’s playing::Speakerphone – Kylie Minogue::
moodflash:: discontent::

She’s feeling rather aggravated right now, and for no good apparent reason. The world is cast in shades of grey, and she supposes that right now, even fois gras in her mouth wouldn’t taste good. It would probably taste like sawdust. So she exaggerate.

She fears mediocrity. And she’s taking slow but sure steps towards that goal of mediocrity. Like a person weighed down by chains, hindering her attempts to hold back – hold back from that big M.

No talent. No talent. What a fucking mockery.
♥
[bugger off, half-assed me]

Sleep.

what’s playing::Galvanise – Chemical Brothers::
moodflash:: sleepy::

Met up with some people today. Have not seen them since Secondary school, so that makes it about 5 years or thereabouts. And the one thing a particular friend remembers me for – is that I sleep a lot. I have no idea where she got that from. But she’s damn right I do. Perhaps she noticed that whenever teachers start teaching, I go into sleep mode. Teachers’ voices contain a summoning spell for the Sandman. I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks this way.

Of course they largely remembered me as being rather fat, and having a round face – even if one of them was too polite to say the word fat to my face (she gestured instead).

Perhaps that explains my obsession with weight ever since. Not that I’m doing anything about it though.

Perhaps it’s time I start re-building bridges that have broken down due to neglect and disrepair. But the anti-social in me protests.
♥
[hiyashi ramen - japanese food fix]

Weight.

what’s playing::Surprise – Sugababes::
moodflash:: stuffed::

There is a yearning, inside. The creature, starved. Clawing the insides which bind it, crowding in like barbed wire, digging into flesh.

No.
Fresh.
Air.

Can’t breath. The creature – the Other, screeching to paralyze, pacing in its limited space.

Restlessness.

“One day I’ll get out,” it said.
♥
[freedom]

Eventful.

what’s playing::Galvanise – Chemical Brothers::
moodflash:: upbeat::

PI is turning out to be much better than I expected. The real work hasn’t started rolling in yet, but it will soon, and I’m anticipating it. I love the fact that I can wear jeans to work, and ditch the typical corporate attire. While heels and work-pants look smokin’ hot, they are also fairly uncomfortable when one has a penchant for sitting cross legged on her chair. The food in the vicinity is fantabulous, and as testament to that I’m gaining weight less than 3 weeks into PI. And to top it off, I think I have the most fabulous colleagues I could have ever hoped for.

I was somewhat anxious like a cat with it’s tail on fire prior to starting PI, and on the first few days of PI when I had to pull a David Copperfield and disappear from work for the first week. But somehow, I just know that things are good, and I’m hopeful.

Optimism is key.

I miss the girls who are away having adventures in exotic Nepal and snowy Shanghai. The bouts of loneliness occasionally surfaces, especially when I see people having humongous social circles. And I wish I were more like them. But the fatigue of waking at the ungodly hour of 630am every morning is preventing me from dwelling unnecessarily into such bleak thoughts. So that’s good I suppose.

On a completely separate note. D&D was THE eye-opener of my entire life. *smirk* I think my PI ROCKS!

I finally get something good. So, HAHA SUCKERS!
Kidding.
♥
[strawberry mojito rocks my world!]

Revival.

what’s playing::Jump (For My Love) – The Pointer Sisters::
moodflash:: determined::

Work starts fresh tomorrow and I’m determined to give it the best I have. No more sick me! While I’ve yet to regain my energy level and stamina, I’m damn sure I can kick ass! (Pep talk here – I’m actually scared shitless on how to face the boss after disappearing on the first week of PI.)

Spent the weekend recovering and basically nua-ing at home. No stamina to consecutively take a bath, change, wait for the bus and head out. So home, bed and laptop movie it was. And it was good.

Now all I need is for the damn bloatedness in the stomach to go away, and I would be much much better. Damn after-effects!

Enough about dreary sickness.

I wonder if I should indulge in more Joni Mitchell songs. Will listen to her 2007 album before deciding further. Both Sides Now from the Love Actually soundtrack has captivated me. It’s an achy song, perfect for all moments of tears and heartbreak.

In any case. The parent believes that the main reason why I’m so damn weak is because I’ve been keeping late nights. And since I’m expected to wake at an ungodly hour of 630am so I can actually be punctual for work, I think sleeping early is definitely in order. I really wish work started later. What kind of place has its people starting work so damn early? Bugger it.

So, goodnight world! It’s gonna be a beaUtiful Monday!
♥
[P.S. Part of this enthusiasm comes from listening to the Love Actually OST as I type. It helps!]

Sigh.

what’s playing::Would You Lie To Me Baby – Charles & Eddie::
moodflash:: sick::

It’s the third day. Third day and a half, to be precise. And I still feel like crap. Yes, fever’s gone and all. (Finally!) But the after-effects are just as bad.

I react slowly. My head spins when I’m in an upright position. I can’t walk for too long. Walking up the staircase to my bedroom makes me see stars and my knees buckle. I seem to have lost my appetite – rather, a few mouthfuls of soup induces nausea.

What the hell.

I feel like a fucking invalid dammit.
♥
[bugger off, you]

Arse.

what’s playing::Bye Bye Baby – Bay City Rollers::
moodflash:: sick and annoyed::

I’m already sick enough as it is, and barely recovering!

Stop messing with my head. Fuck it.

Your mere existence is a bane to me. I wish you would simply disappear.
♥
[Out out damn spot!]