Bummer.

what’s playing::Flat On The Floor – Carrie Underwood::
moodflash:: annoyed::

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I’m absolutely a huge fan of How I Met Your Mother. So much so that I actually marathoned the first season in one day, 2 weeks or so before the exams, last year.

Unlike in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, where there is at least one character who annoys the hell outta me – Phoebe – I can pretty much say I love everyone in HIMYM!

So it’s with utter dismay that I read that Britney Spears will be returning to HIMYM. I guess she was good for one episode, but seriously, a return?! I would prefer the return of Victoria who ran off to Germany and makes awesome cupcakes

I hope the writers don’t sell out the show just to appeal to the Britney camp. Bah, humbug.

Digression. I want these!

♥
[pop is invading]

Tune

what’s playing:How’s It Gonna Be – Third Eye Blind::
moodflash:: dull::

I’m only pretty sure that I can’t take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder
What are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder
Is there anything I’m going to miss
I wonder

How it’s going to be
When you don’t know me
How’s it going to be
When you’re sure I’m not there
How’s it going to be
When there is no one to talk to, between you and me
‘Cause I don’t care
How’s it going to be
How’s it going to be

Where we used to laugh
There’s a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can’t ignore
Like…
The hammocks by the doorway we spent time in
Swings empty, don’t see lightning like last fall when it was always
about to hit me
I wonder how’s it going to be when it goes down

Hows it going to be
When your not around
Hows it going to be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
‘Cause I don’t care
How’s it going to be.

Hows it going to be
When you don’t know me any more
And how’s it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivian
Wanna taste the soul of your skin
The soft dive of oblivian
Oblivian

How’s it going to be
When you don’t know me any more
How’s it going to be
How’s it going to be

♥
[I want to run through some rain]

Dango Daikazoku

what’s playing:: Dango Daikazoku – Chata::
moodflash::nostalgic::

When I was studying for the exams in semester one, I went a little insane and got hooked on Clannad. The animation series produced by the very people who did Kanon and Air, which meant that not watching Clannad would be a crime. And as per Kanon and Air, Clannad was bound to be a tearjerker. Which is why I have stopped at episode 8 or so, not daring to go much further because I know for sure that the waterworks will be turned on in the following episode. Coward, but I choose to see this as an act of self preservation.

♥

What if…

what’s playing::Here’s To Believe – Aslyn::
moodflash:: pensive::

She stepped out off the edge of a building, only to feel herself fall. Just to see how it would feel. Bracing herself for the impact of the ground coming up to mee her, her eyes stayed open. She wanted to see the sky, oh so blue, fall away from her.

She landed.

It wasn’t the concrete she was expecting. She looked around. A massive grassy field, with wildflowers growing indiscriminately. A sweet sweet scent assulted her senses. The heady mix of leaf, grass, flower, nature. Nature. And the air was fresh. Fresh. Lying on her back, she saw a familiar face in the blue sky, clouds like old friends gathering round in conversation, and moving away. No one, no one at all. No other human presence could be detected. And finally, Peace hailed her as an owner. As she closed her eyes, she thought, “Is this what it feels like? To lie down and feel life seeping out of me and into Nature. Away from the world. It’s not bad to die – because to die is to live.”
♥
[Leap of faith]

Small

what’s playing::Happy Ending – Mika::
moodflash:: small


It’s such a wierd feeling. It seems like everyone I had known is going somewhere and I’m still in transit. Feeling quite left behind and small, because people are just ahead, and as time passes by, I fall behind. Inevitably.


Life is mundane, I don’t know what I want for sure, I have no concrete plans to work towards, and there is no driving force towards anything. Anything.


And as I am stuck in this eye of the strom that never seems to abate, I can’t help but feel lost. I don’t know what my future holds, yet, why does it look to bleak?


For the umteenth time, I am wishing that I had excelled in the sciences, that I could crunch numbers like I do Frosties. That I had an aptitude for statistics even. But I don’t to all. I like to think that having an interest in the soft arts of humanities ain’t that bad, but increasingly, I am seeing that it is not so.


How useless. That’s all I can think. When all I can see in myself is mediocrity, I see the one who is Pathetic.
♥
[and the world changes.]

A Ridiculous Week

what’s playing::Out Of My Mind – James Blunt::
moodflash:: stressed


This has been one hell of week. A emotional roller-coaster was never so nerve-wrecking.


In one week, I have…
1] Received a present from a friend, making my day.
2] Been absolutely consumed with irrational jealousy, spoiling my week.
3] Felt totally accomplished after finishing a run and an essay.
4] Lapse into that all too sickening insecurity and self-doubt.
5] Felt relieved, at getting some contacts.
6] Been steamrolled, resulting in an assignment due 4 days later chucked back at me to re-do.
7] Felt overwhelmed by the things I have to do.
8] Not studies sufficiently for a test for Friday.
9] Skipped two Jap lessons consecutively, adding to my workload.
10] Felt loved, by the one who matters and the ones who matter.


You see, I am aware that most of the predicaments I am in are brought onto myself by myself. I know it, and that makes it worse.


I am tired. I am so damn tired. And I feel old. I feel like a drowning person craving just one last breath of fresh air. As inadequacy (in all sense of the word) threatens me like a silk noose around my neck. And all that is left is for me to take the plunge down.


It has been a long time since I felt so melancholic. It has been a long time since I caved in to a bottling up of senses in me. But sometimes, there’s only so much I can absorb. If breaking makes me weak, then so be it – I am weak.
♥
[Thank YOU, and you, and you and you.]

Sigh.

what’s playing::Are You Gonna Be My Girl – Jet::
moodflash:: green


I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT,I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT,I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT,I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT,I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT,I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT,I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT, I DON’T LIKE, I DON’T WANT!


This sucks and I abosulutely have got to calm myself down to a zen-like state but I am as always quite unable to do that because some things just gall me even though it may seem small to others.


I am superficial, I am vain, I want the whole package of big eyes, slim waist, clear complexion, perfect hair days, a more proportionate nose, a nice mouth. The whole goddam package. Thing is, when I piece all these perfect attributes of self, will be be nothing more than Frankenstine’s monster?
♥
[I want to be the only person in your eyes. A perfect being despite being an imperfect one.]

I feel like a monster eating myself up.

Sweat And Words

what’s playing::Head Over Feet – Alanis Morissette::
moodflash:: accomplished


I finally cut down my essay of 2347 words to 1959. Yaye! I should go buy 4-D.
Pounded the track with another 2.4 and discovered that the track left red dust-like substances on my shoes. Argh. I dun like that. Dirty!


I feel so utterly random now and it simply HAS to occur to me soon that I have trend story to churn up by Monday and a test in two days time to study for. Extra time in a day, anyone?


I wonder why I am so self-absorbed. Maybe that’s why I blog. Self gratification.


I shall do my 224 journal now. It is a dang nuisance to think of what to write, seriously!
♥
[759 words over limit is ACCEPTABLE]

Santarina Came To 203

moodflash:: chirpy::


Everyone likes to receive presents. But what everone would love more, is to receive unexpected presents for no real reason at all. In the form of Shu, Christmas came early (or late, depending on how you view time) and we each got a nicely personalised packaged parcel (alliteration!) just for us! With the amount of time and effort that went into this, I can only say Thank YOU SHUYUN! And finally, instead of just speaking, you did the doing. You’re pretty amazing, and I daresay, we all agree on that.





And I shall endeavour to take your advice to “Don’t Wait For The Ship To Come In, Row Out And Meet It.” Thanks babe. Lotsa.


It’s going to be a trying week ahead of us and I think we’ll get through somehow as we always do.
♥
[a little gift goes a long way]

Nervy

what’s playing::She Hates Me – Puddle Of Mudd::
moodflash:: full of nerves


I tried on a few pairs of spectacle frames today and I’m thinking that it’s time for me to get a new pair. I’ve been having this ridiculous problem of my glasses sliding down my (big) nose when I look down. And as if to make an imprint to remind me of its presense, the spectacles leave red marks on my nose bridge (what nose bridge?) when the contact goes on. Annoying. All the more reason to get new spectacles – spectacles that I would actually go out in I guess?



I miss Daryl and his utter nonsense. The other day I called home and I heard him screeching in the background. Now I certainly do NOT miss that, however, I would like to have him run up to me again and wrap his arms around my leg.


I need inspiration to flow for my trend story.
♥
[Thank YOU.]